The 3 EXs... Express, Explain, Explore

This post is dedicated to teachers, and to mamas and papas who are teachers at home.  I had previously given this as part of a larger presentation in a special needs school in Kuwait.  The pointers are simple and straightforward. This was initially written for teaching kids with learning differences/difficulties, but it can be used with all students.  

I call this "The 3 EXs" presentation...

EXPRESS

•   Use a steady yet soft voice.  Children pay attention when the adult is firm, not agitated.
•  Take time to express what you want the child to do, then guide them in doing it. 
•   Express encouragement regularly.  Create a classroom rewards system.
•  Encourage children to express their feelings.
•   I encourage you to express your own feelings. 

EXPLAIN

•   Explain the lesson using as many senses as you can.
•  Explain classroom rules and expectations.  Repeat and keep visual reminders.
•  If and when the child misbehaves, explain what was done wrong and why it is wrong.
• This should always be followed by how the child can do the “appropriate” or target behavior correctly.

EXPLORE

•  Find ways to use different forms of teaching.  Your voice is not your only asset.
•  Use your own knowledge to find out what the child’s learning style may be.  This will be a great advantage for you.
• Help the child use multi-sensory ways to explore his/her surrounding.
• When a child is stuck, or refusing to participate, take time at the end of class to explore with the child what the problem is.  A child is more likely to tell you when he/she is alone.  

Posted not tweeted!

Apologies for those of you who were searching for the LoFat twitter updates today. LoFat was unfortunately unable to provide real-time tweets of the dietician training, so I will give you a brief overview! Today's focus was on how to approach, motivate and succeed with teenagers in regards to health. 

We need to first think about the real differences between young children and teenagers. One important difference is that with physical growth comes changes in hormones and metabolism. Those changes influence body image and mood. Another change is age, and with age comes increased expectations and responsibilities. A very important difference is social. Teenagers are motivated, demotivated, enabled and disabled by the social environment. The parental influence is important, but it ceases to become a motivator. Teens want to feel accepted by peers and want to feel "normal" according to the larger social circle. 

Knowing these difference and really understanding their implications helps us identify ways to motivate and inspire teenagers to succeed in a healthy lifestyle:

• By empowering teens to understand and take control of their body, they become more independent and thus successful.  Teach them about their body, how BMI works, muscle VS. weight gain/loss, etc. 
• Aid them in finding fun ways to move and exercise.  Exercise does not mean treadmill; paintball, bowling, swimming and many more can be options. 
• Educate them on making healthy food choices when they are dining out. 
• Teach them to read the labels and look for healthy recipes. 
• Help your teenager identify and establish a "buddy system". By that I simply mean having another friend or family member go through all or part of the experience with him/her. 
• Be flexible! Allow a free day for example.  
• Do not compare.  Each child is different.
• Rewards should not be with food.  An experience-based reward or more privileges are good examples.

I will add one note that is specific to parents, and I hope you can accept it from me... If you are a healthy role-model, your child will eventually learn from you.  Do not expect change, if you cannot model that change.

As an adult in the teen's life do be aware of how you approach the topic of weight loss. Focus on gaining a healthy lifestyle rather than losing weight. The dangers of unhealthy body image, eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia), and yo-yo dieting are severe. If you do suspect that your teen may be exhibiting signs of depression, anxiety, obsessive and/or disturbed behavior and mood swings, do consult with a therapist.

Disciplined... Part 2

Misbehavior, rule breaking and/or tantrums are an inevitable part of growing up. Sometimes it is an attempt (by the child) at gaining control; an attempt at mastery. Other times it is an experiment of "what will mama/baba do".  This can be intentional, as we can see from the video below, or not.  This post is targeting intentional and repetitive attempts by your child to misbehave.

With teenagers it is no different. They may not lie down on the floor and scream, but they still seek attention, experiment with breaking the rules, and seek ways of expressing that they have grown, and that rules may need to change.  This might be a time when renegotiating the rules is helpful.

As aforementioned in the previous post, structure and discipline are necessary. Discipline is not just about rewards, nor is it only about punishments. We need to start with having a set of rules and guidelines for our children to follow, we then need to be role models. For younger children these rules have to be short and clear; and we need to keep a reminder of these rules.  We should remember to use positive reinforcement when our children are doing well. When they are not, we give chances (or warnings) to allow them to correct their mistakes. If our child is being stubborn, we use punishments, or as I would rather say, consequences to teach them discipline. (I will use punishment in this post because it is more familiar and recognizable).

Punishments/ consequences:

• Punishments, like rewards, need to be immediate. (i.e. Do not punish a behavior exhibited at the beginning of the week, by taking away something on the weekend).  This can be an exception with teenagers, who are able to wait and you may postpone a punishment.

• Punishments need to be short. Elongating punishment will only decrease its effectiveness. (i.e. take away the game for an hour instead of a week).

• Punishments need to be age-appropriate. (i.e. Time-out for younger kids vs taking away privileges for older children).  Please use the term "thinking chair" instead of "naughty chair".  Remember we are trying to promote positive thinking and behavior.

• Talk to your child not at your child.  Try to kneel down and maintain eye contact.

• Clarify that you are punishing the behavior and not the child.  Show your child love even in those tough moments.

• For educational, safety and emotional reasons I will have to mention that I am adamantly against corporal punishment (physical punishment).  This is always a sensitive topic, especially in this part of the world.  As the cartoon below shows, it only teaches the child to be aggressive, and to avoid an act out of fear, and not conviction).

Corporal Punishment

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      This video might make you laugh, break your heart, or allow you to sigh and say "yippee! Its not only my boy who does that!"...  It does, however, show us that intentional and manipulative behavior starts at a very young age.

Disciplined... Part 1

Structure is an essential part of a child's development.  It allows the child to have a sense of predictability and stability which nurtures his sense of security.  Rewards and punishments teach the child about consequences of actions, allowing the child to act after consideration rather than impulsively. Establishing rules and guidelines may be difficult in the beginning, and here are some tips about one aspect of discipline:

Rewards

Rewards should be immediate.  A reward far off in the future is neither enticing nor motivating.  Children can tolerate and should tolerate waiting, but creating a token system for a future reward is more effective than a verbal promise. (i.e. collecting point, stickers, etc).

For younger children explain very clearly why the reward was given, the more specific you are, the more likely it is that the child will repeat that specific behavior.

Do not assume the child has not learned if s/he does not repeat the rewarded behavior.  Consistency, repetition and persistence are essential, especially when dealing with special needs children.

Use one-on-one rewards when targeting embarrassing or personal goals. (i.e. age inappropriate toilet training, hygiene, relationship problems).   

Try to be creative with your rewards.  Find activities and experiences that you can reward with, rather than focusing on materialistic rewards. For example, 15 minutes of one-on-one play with your child (a game of their choice), allowing them choose their favorite dish for dinner, bake cookies, or make popcorn and watch T.V. together.  For bigger rewards, these could include organizing an outing, having friends over, or allowing them extra privileges.    

Express your love and pride for your child generously

The color debate

Artificial food dyes have been around for years, and many forms are actually approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA).  Recently, there have been more studies linking food coloring with hyperactivity in children.  The FDA is currently reviewing food dyes and considering banning some.

There is no conclusive evidence that food coloring causes nor increases hyperactivity in children. There is, however, some indication that children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) may be more sensitive to dyes that other children.

For more information read up on the FDA's released analysis of 35 years of scientific studies.

My two cents?  An elimination diet, when it is not too restrictive nor severe, is never harmful.  Use natural products and avoid colored drinks and food when possible.  Keep an eye on your child's behavior during this time.  Whether or not you see a difference, you would have introduced a healthier diet to your child :)