No?

Two weeks ago, I was asked about the right time to say "no" to a child.  Most recent opinions about this seem to suggest that delaying saying "no" has many benefits, most importantly providing a positive and nurturing environment for the child.  This is certainly something to think about.  I, however, do think that saying "no" will not have any detrimental effects on the child's upbringing even at an early age.  In fact it can be useful.  We have to keep in mind that is it CRITICAL to give children an alternatives as often as possible, and use "no" when it is regarding something potentially dangerous/serious.  For example, if your child is playing with your phone, we can simply redirect him by saying "This is mummy's not yours, but here's your toy, while you hand your child something that belongs to him.  If the child was trying to touch the fire/heater, saying "no" is appropriate.  Explain why whenever possible.

When we are talking about parenting, we very often have to also talk about reality and practicality and not just ideals.  Does that mean we are not providing our very best? Not at all!
Your young child would have heard "no" from you or others even if it not directed at him/her.  Furthermore, in interactions with other adults, your child may have been told "no" directly.  Thinking about cognition and the development of linguistic awareness, it makes more sense that we associate from an early age a relationship between the word "no" and its meaning.  Children thrive within a structure and within a predictable environment, and some limitations are necessary.

Allowing the child to hear the word "no", will also teach the child about assertiveness.  You would have taught your own child how to express his disdain or refusal.  I can probably hear some "oh no's" from you readers right now, but again, an expressive child will be more successful and independent than a non-expressive child.  When children start saying "no" this is the ideal time to teach them about choices and consequences.


Do you remember our earlier post about discipline (here)?  Remember that video of the boy during the tantrum?.  These types of tantrums can be seen in very young children; even younger than the expected "terrible twos" stage.  When structure is in place and some rules are implemented, the tantrums can be dealt with more efficiently.

So what is our summary?

• Saying "no" can be beneficial.  It builds structure and differentiates between dangerous and non dangerous behavior.
• Saying "no" also provides children with predictability, which makes them feel safe.
• Try to give alternatives whenever possible instead of "no" for very young children.
• For older children: Keep giving alternatives and show your child how to correct their own mistakes.
• Saying "no" teaches children about assertiveness and allows them to express negative emotions.
• Give children choices and teach them about consequences.

Safe keeping...

Pill Or Candy? Can You Guess Which Of These Is Medicine?

Which tablet is a cold medicine and which ones are candy?

Credit: Melissa Forsyth and Alyson Hurt / NPR

Intrigued? 

Click on the link and read this interesting report.

The Other Voice: Car seats

Another wonderful and educational  "The Other Voice" post, this one is by a great friend and an inspirational young mum, Dana Al-Fulaij...

Your baby will need a car seat the moment s/he leaves the hospital and will need one as s/he becomes a toddler and eventually a full-grown child. For this post, we will focus on the infant and toddler car seats (birth – 4 years old).

Infant Car Seat (Birth – 12 months, 0-13kg)

The Infant car seat will stay with the newborn until he/she is approximately 12 months old. This car seat is rear-facing which offers the best protection for the baby of that age and weight. You may think that it is boring for the child to face the back of the seat and not the front, or you may worry that you can’t see the child if you are driving in the front seat, but it is the safest option for the baby. You can easily find little mirrors to attach to the back seat so that you can see the baby and the baby can see some bright colors to keep busy throughout the ride.

 

Recommendation:

There are many infant car seats available in the market now, and my favorite is the Maxi Cosi Pebble.  The Pebble is lightweight, cushioned, and has “stay open straps” that make it easier to secure the baby into the car seat (you won’t have to struggle to find the seatbelt under the baby, it always stays up).

 

Another feature of the Pebble is that it fits on the Maxi Cosi Family Fix Base, which is a must if you will be taking the car seat around with you wherever you go. We all know that newborns are almost always sleeping (and we want to keep them sleeping), so keeping the baby in the car seat becomes an easy solution when you can easily “click” the car seat in and out of its base. The Family Fix Base will always be secured in your car so that you don’t have to worry about installing and uninstalling the car seat every time you go for a ride.

The convenience of having the car seat and base combo also carries on to the stroller. Maxi Cosi provides adaptors for many of the strollers (Quinny, Stokke, Bugaboo), which allows you to use the car seat on the stroller itself. This means that you won’t have to un-strap and re-strap your baby into the stroller when you are finished from your outing. Again, this is convenient when your baby is sleeping and you can keep him/her sleeping through the car ride since you won’t touch the baby when taking him/her from the stroller into the car.

A unique feature of the Pebble and Family Fix Base is that once your child outgrows the Pebble car seat and is ready to move to a forward facing car seat, you can keep the base and just attach the Pearl Toddler Seat. That means that with one base you can attach both the Infant Pebble and the Toddler Pearl car seats on the same base, a two for one deal.

Unfortunately, the Family Fix base is not yet sold in Kuwait. You can order it online from www.justkidding-me.com and they will ship directly to Kuwait from Dubai. They have the full line of car seats and accessories as well which you can order.

If you do not want to buy the family fix base and just want an infant car seat that can be installed using the car’s seat belt, then I recommend the Maxi Cosi Cabrio Fix.

Toddler Car Seats ( 9 months – 4 years, 9-18 kg)

Maxi Cosi Pearl:

This is the best-tested toddler car seat from the Maxi Cosi brand. It offers the “stay open straps”, an adjustable headrest that can grow with your toddler, and the option to have the car seat easily tilted to 5 different positions from sitting to sleeping.

The Pearl only attaches to the Family Fix Base. So if you do not intend on buying the base, then I recommend the Maxi Cosi Tobi, which can be installed using the car’s seat belt.

"The Other Voice"- Is our contributing authors post.  If you would like to contribute, email me at zalzabin@gmail.com for approval, editing and eventual posting:)

A world of Discovery

As the current poll suggests, I wanted to spend some time exploring activity options in Kuwait.  My first thought went straight to Discovery Mall.  The promise of a "developmental center for kids" made this a must-see!

As a space, Discovery Mall is organized and spacious, but does not necessarily have a child friendly, developmental or fun vibe to it as a whole.  Granted I am not an architect nor a designer, and perhaps I had my hopes up too high.

Having said that, there are enough child-friendly spaces within it to warrant it an excellent choice for parents with kids of all ages to go.  I will show you a break-down of my favorite spots, with age appropriateness.

Lets start with My Gym.  I absolutely LOVED this place.  I took a special little man with me and saw it in action (see picture below).  I would recommend the structured play for beginners (parent participation class).  There is a very enthusiastic instructor, who leads the kids during circle time, she also allows you to see all the materials that you could use within the gym.

The programs include:

• Structured/parent participation class
• Martial Arts and Karate classes
• Free Play- this is an opportunity for you to organize a play date with other parents kids.  As it is unstructured, if you are alone it is similar to playing at home.  But for those parents who have limited space at home for a play area, this is wonderful too.
• My Gym Camp
• My Gym Art-  Which many people do not know about as it is in an adjacent space.  Great space to play and create.

AGES: 6 weeks-13 years!

I am a stickler for safety!

Little man having a blast!

Next is a very cool space called:

Kuwait Flight Simulation Center  This center apparently caters to amateur and professional pilots.  For amateurs, the youngest age allowed is 13 years of age.  The place looks very intriguing and if I had the time, I would have strapped my self in and tried it.  For you parents who want an indoor space that your teenager might like, this is a great option!

AGES: 13+ (including adults)














The basement at Discovery Mall, also has a mini golf facility- Golfania.  The lighting was not very good, so I decided not to put any of the photos I took.  But again, great option for something indoors, active.  I could not find their website, but you can follow them on twitter @golfania2010.


AGE:  There was no sign about age that I could see, but obviously I would say no unattended young kids, and only bring kids that are able to play, and not run around trying to catch the ball with their hand:P


The top floor had many options as well, including:

Cozmo Bowling- which also has some air-hockey and pool tables.  This can be a great "family time" option, as it caters to most ages (not your tiny ones of course).

AGE: As soon as your child can swing that ball.

Goal!  an indoor football field, which is excellent!  The website is very professional and has information on all their activities, which include:
Goal ! Parties
Goal! Academy
Goal! Club

AGE: Depends on the activity.  Check their website.

PLAY, or PLAYTIME, is an indoor area for kids under 5.  It looked interesting from a distance, but I will have to see it when they have kids inside.

AGE: under 5

There are other areas and things to do at Discovery Mall, but these are the ones that caught my eye...


NOTE:  
As soon as I walked in Discovery Mall a sign caught my eye, but I will brief you on this wonderful club in a post very very soon!!!