Ramadan, not drama-dan

During Ramadan, our whole schedule changes.  The timings, food habits, work schedules and let us not forget the increased family obligations that come with it.  This is NOT easy when you have children.  It often results in increased tension and anxiety.  Some parents do not change their children's schedule at all, which can be ideal, but it is quiet unrealistic when you have children of different ages.

So,what is the solution? Is there a perfect schedule that I magically came up with?  Unfortunately not!  But there is some good news... I do have some tips:)

• It is important to make sure your children have enough GOOD QUALITY sleep.  It may be easier for some to let the children stay as late as they want as they can sleep in all day since it is summer vacation.  This is NOT healthy.  There needs to be enough hours in the day where children see sunshine, and sleep when it is dark... Simple enough right? sleep when it is dark and wake up when there is sun outside.  Ideally, we all (especially children) should be asleep between the hours of 10pm-12pm.  I will look for the research that supports this statement soon.

• It is O.K. to have some sweets.  As you know, I am not a big fan of elimination diets (where you completely stop your child from eating a specific thing) UNLESS, there is an allergic or medical reason for it. Provide alternatives and healthy options when possible, and put a limit.  Same with fried food, but I honestly think there is no need for fried at all since you have so many yummy alternatives!

• Find time to be with your children.  As your free time is challenged this Ramadan, a little bit of pre-planning is in order.  Ramadan is a time for family, so why not think of group activities that you could do together.  This can help you with the first tip, as you can plan a nice night-time activity as a pre-sleep routine.  You could also have an activity right after futoor/iftar since there is usually a period of relaxation.  One suggestion with older children is playing trivia or board games.

• Organize activities for your children during the day (at home or outside).  This will ensure less phone calls to you during work, and less agitated attention-seeking behavior when you are home.  It also ensures that your children are awake during the day, and tired at an acceptable hour by night.

• Lead by example.  This is always the best tip and applies to ALL of the above.

These are my tips for tonight, I will keep them coming as the month progresses...

Sleep deprived and so I cried

It is interesting how this following study was presented (from: HealthyChildren.org).  We probably all know that sleep affects children's demeanor and behavior.  My first step with any new client is to do a full clinical interview with the parents, and sleep habits are ALWAYS discussed, although I may never have asked about snoring per se!  Please read:

Children who snore or who have other sleep-related breathing problems are more likely to have behavioral problems years later, according to a large, population-based study in the April 2012 Pediatrics.

The study, “Sleep-Disordered Breathing in a Population-Based Cohort: Behavioral Outcomes at 4 and 7 Years,” published online March 5, asked parents in England about their children’s snoring, mouth breathing, observed apnea and behavior, starting at age 6 months and periodically until age 7 years.

By age 4, children with sleep-disordered breathing were 20 percent to 60 percent more likely to have behavioral difficulties. By age 7, they were 40 percent to 100 percent more likely. The worst symptoms were associated with the worst behavioral outcomes.

Study authors conclude that sleep-disordered breathing early in life has strong effects on behavior later in childhood, possibly because of increased vulnerability during a critical period of brain development when there is the greatest need for sleep. The study findings suggest that these symptoms may require attention as early as the first year of life. 

HealthyChildren.org - Snoring Linked to Behavior Problems in Children

No snooze... They lose...

A super cute entry in Motherload, a New York Time's parenting blog, caught my attention and I wanted to share it with you... I am not supporting this mother's solution, but I do understand it.

Lying to Get My Children More Sleep

By KJ DELLANTONIA

This weekend I set all the clocks back. About 7 on Sunday night (which was feeling a whole lot like 8 to me and four cranky children), I set them forward again. But not all the way. About half an hour. Just enough to give the children a little edge on what’s always a sleepy week without my having to declare an early bedtime — and then listen to a chorus of complaint. I admit it: I lied, or at least, I created an atmosphere in which a lie was implied. But it was all for an excellent cause.

For every sleepless parent out there, there’s a sleep-deprived child, and there’s no “mother’s little helper” drug for the child who isn’t getting enough rest. Instead, there are a whole host of troubles associated with shortened sleep hours for children from preschool through adolescence.

A 1998 study of high school students found that students who received poor grades went to bed later and slept less on average than students who got A’s and B’s. I’ve seen other research suggesting that 6- and 7-year-olds who slept only eight hours a night did not perform as well on tests of their academic performance as those who slept nine hours or more. And although that study considered only a relatively small number of children in Spain, I can testify firsthand that the 5-, 6- and 7-year-olds in my home who sleep less than nine hours do not perform as well on tests of cooperation and familial cohesion. Children who have slept well are easier to be around. They bounce back more easily from crushing blows, like an empty box of Cheerios. I don’t have any doubt that they’re doing better in their classrooms and on the playground.

But sometimes, in the midst of busy schedules and family activities, I forget to do a sleep check. Like most of us, I sleep less than I’d like, and I’m more accustomed than I ought to be to “powering through” after a late night. Without even realizing it, I impose the same choices on my children (minus the coffee). It takes something like Jennifer Moses’s article “Waking Up to Young Kids’ Sleep Troubles” in the weekend’s Wall Street Journal to remind me that while my children may cheer my decision to stay an extra half-hour at the Sunday night family party or indulge the desire to put off homework until after dinner, those things have consequences that they can’t fully appreciate. They’re as desperate for good sleep as the mothers reaching for Xanax that I wrote about earlier on Monday. They just don’t know it.

So Sunday night I sprung forward, a few months early, in the name of not just an earlier bedtime but a peaceful version of the same. No one noticed, in spite of the fact that I didn’t change the clocks by their beds. Or if they did, while crawling, clean and warm and tired, under their covers, they didn’t say anything. Tonight it’s back to normal, which will require me to remember (and enforce) the fact that if they need to go to sleep at 8:30 p.m., they need to go brush their teeth at 8 p.m., not 8:29 p.m. Tricking them into bed (like tricking them into eating vegetables) may get them more sleep, but it skimps on the message that sleep is important. Honesty is surely a better policy. But my little subterfuge was awfully effective. Four cheerful children were up on time and even a little early for school. And I felt better, too: with the children filed away, I was in bed earlier, with no loss to my treasured wind-down time. “Bedtime Savings Time” struck me as a win-win. I’m filing it away for future use.